If you are in an unhappy marriage it might lead you to believe that marriage sucks! You might even think you want to get out of this whole marriage thing. Marriage is supposed to be forever, not just be tossed away. Don’t give up too easily. There was a reason you got married and it’s still there, somewhere.
Listening and communication skills are critical to a relationship. Maybe you are in an unhappy marriage because the two of you have simply quit communicating with one another. I mean real conversation, here, not fighting! You have to set aside time to reconnect on a regular basis.
People might think that they have should just give up on an unhappy marriage. What they ought to do is make a commitment to themselves and their partner to make the marriage better. Get advice or help dealing with the issues facing your marriage if it’s something you need to do. Don’t be embarrassed because you need help.
A spirit of compromise can help resolve conflicts in an unhappy marriage. You have to be willing to give a bit. It can’t always be your way. If you are selfish and always want things your own way, its no wonder your spouse is unhappy with you! Don’t alienate your partner with a selfish attitude.
Have a good long look in the mirror right now. Are you really happy with the person you see there? If you aren’t, how do you think you can be a great marriage partner? The unfortunate truth is, you can’t. If you need to deal with personal issues, do it! It can be painful to work through these things, but once you do, you will feel more free. Dumping the old baggage will help you become a better partner for your spouse and a happier person all around.
It is going to take some time to fix your unhappy marriage, so be patient. Begin by renewing your commitment to your partner. Don’t let your marriage become another statistic.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Tips On Survivng A Break Up
Unfortunately, we may all have to survive a breakup of some type. Whether it is the breakup of a relationship or marriage, the aftermath can be devastating and leave permanent scars if not handled correctly. So what can we do to get through it?
Tips On Surviving A Breakup:
Don’t play the ‘blame game’. Blaming only yourself or your former partner for the breakup is counterproductive. Own your mistakes, learn from them and push forward with your life.
Don’t focus on the ‘what if’s’. ‘What if I had done this differently?’ What if that hadn’t happened?’ Dwelling on what might have been will make you nuts, so just don’t go there! We all have things we wish were different than they are, but they are what they are. Things happen sometimes that we have no control over and we just have to do the best we can, learn something from it, and move on.
Don’t give ultimatums to your ex. Giving ultimatums is a form of manipulation and bullying. Even though you might be tempted to try it, don’t. It won’t accomplish what you really want it to, anyway. Ultimatums will only cause resentment towards you and that’s not really what you need.
Don’t beg your ex to come back. Turning into a pathetic wimp or a psycho stalker is not going to help either of you. Getting your ex back because the feel sorry for you is a very short-term fix anyway. Instead of being the object of their pity, try to get their respect for how maturely you are handling your life and the breakup.
Don’t use threats to try to get your ex back. Using threats will only make them more angry and resentful towards you. This isn’t what you want.
Be patient. It took time for the problems to occur and it’s going to take you some time to get over the breakup. Give yourself the time you need to heal and then you can move forward with your life.
Find something that interests you and then do it! Take up a new hobby or revive an old one, start a workout routine at the gym…do something besides sit around and feel bad! Sitting around dwelling on everything that’s happened will make you nuts, so get out of the house and do something. You may not really feel like it at first, but you need to make yourself do it.
And here is probably the best tip of all for surviving a breakup: Agree with your ex that there are problems and that it’s a good idea to take a break. Take an honest look at the reasons for the breakup and see if the relationship could be fixed with a little effort and compromise.
Many times you will find that a relationship can be repaired if you are willing to put forward some effort and give things a bit of time. Allow things to cool off and see what happens. You may find that instead of just trying to survive a breakup, you will be busy rekindling a flame.
Tips On Surviving A Breakup:
Don’t play the ‘blame game’. Blaming only yourself or your former partner for the breakup is counterproductive. Own your mistakes, learn from them and push forward with your life.
Don’t focus on the ‘what if’s’. ‘What if I had done this differently?’ What if that hadn’t happened?’ Dwelling on what might have been will make you nuts, so just don’t go there! We all have things we wish were different than they are, but they are what they are. Things happen sometimes that we have no control over and we just have to do the best we can, learn something from it, and move on.
Don’t give ultimatums to your ex. Giving ultimatums is a form of manipulation and bullying. Even though you might be tempted to try it, don’t. It won’t accomplish what you really want it to, anyway. Ultimatums will only cause resentment towards you and that’s not really what you need.
Don’t beg your ex to come back. Turning into a pathetic wimp or a psycho stalker is not going to help either of you. Getting your ex back because the feel sorry for you is a very short-term fix anyway. Instead of being the object of their pity, try to get their respect for how maturely you are handling your life and the breakup.
Don’t use threats to try to get your ex back. Using threats will only make them more angry and resentful towards you. This isn’t what you want.
Be patient. It took time for the problems to occur and it’s going to take you some time to get over the breakup. Give yourself the time you need to heal and then you can move forward with your life.
Find something that interests you and then do it! Take up a new hobby or revive an old one, start a workout routine at the gym…do something besides sit around and feel bad! Sitting around dwelling on everything that’s happened will make you nuts, so get out of the house and do something. You may not really feel like it at first, but you need to make yourself do it.
And here is probably the best tip of all for surviving a breakup: Agree with your ex that there are problems and that it’s a good idea to take a break. Take an honest look at the reasons for the breakup and see if the relationship could be fixed with a little effort and compromise.
Many times you will find that a relationship can be repaired if you are willing to put forward some effort and give things a bit of time. Allow things to cool off and see what happens. You may find that instead of just trying to survive a breakup, you will be busy rekindling a flame.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Why Marriages Fail - 5 Reasons Why Marriages Fail
A strong and healthy marriage is a wonderful thing. With at least 50% of all marriages ending in divorce these days, it can also be kind of scary. How can we protect our marriage? Why do marriages fail?
Why Marriages Fail:
Not Trusting Your Partner – If you don’t trust your partner enough to share your thoughts, feelings, and desires, you will see yourselves growing apart. People who don’t trust each other can’t make it because trust is the foundation of a good relationship.
Too Hectic A Lifestyle -We are all too busy nowadays. The demands of our crazy schedules leaves a huge hole in the time we should be with our spouse. If this continues it will take a large toll on the relationship. Over time, one or both spouses may start to feel neglected or unwanted.
Bad Attitude Problems - Does someone have an attitude problem that needs to be adjusted? Do you always have to be right, or always have to have the final word? Are you one of those people who just nitpick every little thing? Are you selfish, greedy, whiny, or are you annoying? Do you tease in a hurtful way? Can you never admit when you’re wrong? If so, you have some work to do. A lot of relationships break up because of attitude problems like these. Work on correcting them before you lose your spouse.
Little/No Physical Intimacy – Being physically intimate isn’t just about sex. Problems or issues can be worked around so that both partners will still be able to feel physically intimate with each other. Lack of intimacy is an enormous relationship killer. Everyone needs a little romance now and again.
Arguing About Money – Money issues come up in every marriage. When there is a lack of money, you feel the financial pressure of trying to pay bills with not enough income. If there is abundance of money, the focus may center on how the money is saved or spent.
Any way you slice it, there is bound to be conflict at one time or another. The key is to communicate and develop a plan before the issues develop.
These are just a few of the reasons why marriages fail. Being aware that these are potential problems can help you lessen the effect they have on your marriage.
Why Marriages Fail:
Not Trusting Your Partner – If you don’t trust your partner enough to share your thoughts, feelings, and desires, you will see yourselves growing apart. People who don’t trust each other can’t make it because trust is the foundation of a good relationship.
Too Hectic A Lifestyle -We are all too busy nowadays. The demands of our crazy schedules leaves a huge hole in the time we should be with our spouse. If this continues it will take a large toll on the relationship. Over time, one or both spouses may start to feel neglected or unwanted.
Bad Attitude Problems - Does someone have an attitude problem that needs to be adjusted? Do you always have to be right, or always have to have the final word? Are you one of those people who just nitpick every little thing? Are you selfish, greedy, whiny, or are you annoying? Do you tease in a hurtful way? Can you never admit when you’re wrong? If so, you have some work to do. A lot of relationships break up because of attitude problems like these. Work on correcting them before you lose your spouse.
Little/No Physical Intimacy – Being physically intimate isn’t just about sex. Problems or issues can be worked around so that both partners will still be able to feel physically intimate with each other. Lack of intimacy is an enormous relationship killer. Everyone needs a little romance now and again.
Arguing About Money – Money issues come up in every marriage. When there is a lack of money, you feel the financial pressure of trying to pay bills with not enough income. If there is abundance of money, the focus may center on how the money is saved or spent.
Any way you slice it, there is bound to be conflict at one time or another. The key is to communicate and develop a plan before the issues develop.
These are just a few of the reasons why marriages fail. Being aware that these are potential problems can help you lessen the effect they have on your marriage.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back - Learn To Read The Signs
What are the signs your ex wants you back after a breakup?
More people ask that question that you might imagine. Many relationships break up and then people realize they may have made a mistake and want to try again. The problem is they don’t always know how to tell the other person. They may be afraid of rejection, so they won’t just tell you straight out. So how can you tell?
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back:
Sign #1 – They still call you occasionally for no apparent reason. You may miss this sign easily if the two of you decided to ‘be friends’ after the breakup. The reason for the call may not be to ‘just check in’ on you, they may actually want you back.
Sign #2 – They ask about you through mutual friends or family members. If you hear that your ex has been asking about you it usually means they still care for you.
Sign #3 – They are dating someone who looks and or acts suspiciously like you. Instead of being insulted, take this as a compliment. You are still on their mind and since they don’t have what they really want, a substitute has to do.
Sign #4 - They still frequent your favorite hanout(s). Did the two of you have a favorite place to hangout? If they are still going to these places frequently it could be that they hope to run into you there. Maybe they miss you and the things you used to do together.
Sign #5 – Whenever they see you they act nervous. If you happen to bump into one another at a restaurant or store do they seem nervous, appear clumsy, or act shy? If so, they may want you more than you realize.
These are the signs your ex wants you back. If they are afraid of being rejected, they may not voice their desire to reconcile. Do you want to get back together with your ex? If so, you may have to be the one to initiate it.
More people ask that question that you might imagine. Many relationships break up and then people realize they may have made a mistake and want to try again. The problem is they don’t always know how to tell the other person. They may be afraid of rejection, so they won’t just tell you straight out. So how can you tell?
Signs Your Ex Wants You Back:
Sign #1 – They still call you occasionally for no apparent reason. You may miss this sign easily if the two of you decided to ‘be friends’ after the breakup. The reason for the call may not be to ‘just check in’ on you, they may actually want you back.
Sign #2 – They ask about you through mutual friends or family members. If you hear that your ex has been asking about you it usually means they still care for you.
Sign #3 – They are dating someone who looks and or acts suspiciously like you. Instead of being insulted, take this as a compliment. You are still on their mind and since they don’t have what they really want, a substitute has to do.
Sign #4 - They still frequent your favorite hanout(s). Did the two of you have a favorite place to hangout? If they are still going to these places frequently it could be that they hope to run into you there. Maybe they miss you and the things you used to do together.
Sign #5 – Whenever they see you they act nervous. If you happen to bump into one another at a restaurant or store do they seem nervous, appear clumsy, or act shy? If so, they may want you more than you realize.
These are the signs your ex wants you back. If they are afraid of being rejected, they may not voice their desire to reconcile. Do you want to get back together with your ex? If so, you may have to be the one to initiate it.
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