Sunday, December 7, 2008

5 Ways To Get Back At Your Ex

Relationships are fragile and you have to do some work to keep them built up and maintained. Unfortunately, relationships do break up and that can be a stressful and frustrating time. Many times when a relationship breaks up the first thought you have is that you want to get back at your ex. It’s a normal reaction, but do you really want to do that?

Following these 5 tips to get back at your ex will do two things:
a. It will put your ex in an interesting predicament.
b. It may also repair the relationship because your ex will see how important you really are/were to them.

These five tips can help you get back at your ex, but they can also be a great method to getting your ex back. So, what do you need to do?

1. Be strong. Coming across as too needy doesn’t help you. You need to stop clinging, begging, and acting desperate. Nobody likes a whiny little crybaby, so show the strong side of yourself even if you don’t feel very strong right after the breakup. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them. If they think you’ve moved on, they may figure out that they really haven’t.

2. Minimize communication. It may seem wrong to reduce the communication between you and your ex, especially if you really want to repair the relationship. Don’t be misled, this is one of the most important steps in getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. So take a break from your ex, give them time to reflect for a while with little to no contact. It just might give them a chance to recall the good things about the relationship you two had.

3. Be flexible. Don’t force issues with your ex, such as demanding they ‘come get their junk’ by a certain date, move out immediately, or whatever. Freak them out by being flexible, listening to them, and sympathizing with their issues. They will be shocked that you are being so kind and mature. It may even make them want to rebuild the lines of communication that were lacking before the breakup.

4. Get out of the house! Call your friends and get out and socialize! You don’t have to date, or even pay much attention to the opposite sex, just get out and spend some time ‘hanging out’. This will be good for you, but it will also make your ex realize what they lost!

5. Be yourself. There was a good reason you and your ex had a relationship, so just be yourself and let your ex remember why they were attracted to you in the first place.

Whether you are looking to get back at your ex or to get your ex back, these five tips will have you feeling better about things in a very short amount of time.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Boyfriend?

If you are wonderinghow can I get back together with my ex boyfriend the first thing to keep in mind is that sacrifice and compromise are two key elements in any relationship. If both of you aren’t willing to give a little, odds are the relationship isn’t going to go very far.

How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend? This will not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, but with a few simple pointers you may find that the relationship can be saved.

When a relationship fails it is a sure sign that something, somewhere went wrong. Getting to the core of what actually happened is the key to figuring out how to fix things. Two of the more common reasons a guy will break things off are:

The relationship was getting stale because you weren’t putting enough of yourself into it.
The relationship was too close because you were putting too much of yourself into it.

Either way, it leads to the end of the relationship. So if you are in the position of wondering “how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend”, the first thing to do would be to determine which of the two root causes above led to the death of the relationship. This will help you decide what steps to take next.

The end of a relationship is hard, but it is even harder to look at yourself to see what you either did, or didn’t do, that drove him away. This can be a harsh reality check, but if you want to get him back, you have to be very honest with yourself. You can’t change what was wrong if you don’t know what it was, can you?

Think of all the possible reasons he could have wanted out. Which of these were actually your fault? Which did you have no control over? The issues you had no control over, you still don’t, so rule those out and concentrate on the things you can change. If the biggest problem with the relationship is something you have control over and can change, odds are good that the two of you can work things out as long as you really are willing to make the compromises necessary.

Start focusing on the things you can change and then you will know the answer to the question, “how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?”

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me? How Can I Know For Sure?

Are you asking yourself, ‘does my ex want to get back with me?’ How can you tell if they do or not? Is it just wishful thinking on your part?

Has your ex been showing interest in you lately? Maybe they go out of their way to spend time with you? They may even be mildly flirting with you, but before you let your hopes run away with you, and jump back into things, stop and think about the situation.

These could definitely be signs that he or she wants you back, or it could be just the normal separation anxiety after a break up. The key here is to avoid jumping the gun! If you appear too eager, it could make them start avoiding you. So play things cool. You may even want to play a little ‘hard to get’, in moderation, of course. You know it seems that people always want what they think they can’t have, right?

So if you find yourself wondering, ‘does my ex want to get back with me?’ The renewed interest could be a genuine try to win you back, but it could also be a few other things.

If they know you still care for them, they may be trying to ‘get even’ with you for some perceived wrong.

They could be just killing time until someone else comes along.

It could be that they are just trying to get attention.

This is why it’s important to proceed carefully, no matter how much you might want him or back in your life. Don’t set yourself up to be hurt or embarrassed! You might be surprised at how many times a day people ask themselves ‘does my ex want to get back with me?’ Many relationships can be saved if you know some simple secrets to winning your ex back.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

What To Do About A Text Message Breakup

Well, today it finally happened…the one thing you really didn’t want. You received a text message breakup from your boyfriend or girlfriend. Now your life really sucks big time and you don’t know what to do! The first thing is, don’t panic. Desperately texting them back will only drive them further away.

I may be a little (or a lot!) old fashioned, but in my book a text message breakup is pretty impersonal and cowardly. Sending a text message to break up a relationship seems to have replaced the ‘dear john’ letter, the breakup note, and even the dreaded ‘we have to talk’ scenario.

So what can you do to try to save the relationship and get it back on track? As I mentioned above, do everything in your power not to appear desperate and clingy. Instead, agree with them that maybe a break is a good idea. That’s really going to make them wonder what’s going on in your head! After all, they just sent you this text message breakup and you’re ok with it?

Now that you have kept your dignity intact, the real work begins. What you need is a strategic plan to get your ex to want you back. To get started on developing your plan you should watch these two videos a friend of mine made. (you’ll need to scroll down the page a little) The methods he uses to save a relationship may be a little unusual, but they work! Don’t let yourself be a helpless victim of text message breakup.

My Favorite Book On Ways To Save A Relationship

Ready to learn the things you must do to save a relationship?
Do you know the key steps to avoid completely destroying the
relationship you're in? The methods outlined here may seem a little
a bit unorthodox to you, but hey, the actually work! Click on the book to learn more!




Thursday, August 7, 2008

How To Get Your Ex Back - Start Getting Your Ex Back Today!

So your boyfriend or girlfriend has broken it off with you and now your life sucks! Well, we’ve all been there, so don’t lose hope quite yet. The truth of the matter is that most any relationship can be fixed if you know how to get your ex back.

Are you willing to put in some effort and a little work to fix what’s wrong with the relationship? It is going to take a little time to get things right, but hang in there and soon you’ll know exactly how to get your ex back. Here’s a little good news, you aren’t going to have to look like an idiot or act like a fool to win back an ex!

Here are a few things you definitely don’t want to do if you are trying to figure out how to get your ex back:

Don’t beg and act all pitiful – Your ex is not going to come back just because you are a needy person. It wouldn’t last if it were based on that anyway. You will need to be able to present some good clear reasoning as to why the two of you should be together and you can’t do that if you are busy whining and begging them to come back.

Don’t be a bully – Making demands is not going to help the situation. It is a great way to be sure your ex avoids you like the plague, though. You want to know how to get your ex back home, not how to drive them further away, right?

Tell them thanks – If you are still in love with your ex and want them back, be sure you let him or her know what a positive difference they have made in your life. Tell them how much you have appreciated them in the past. Compliment them without pushing for reconciliation. This may arouse their curiosity and leave the door open for further communication.

Reconciliation is a gift – Remember that your ex doesn’t have to get back together with you. If you work things out it should be a gift to both of you. Blowing up at them is not going to help anything, so be gracious.

You might have heard from others that a cool down period is important right after a break up. Emotions and hurt will be running high and you need to take a break while you figure out how to get your ex back anyway. So don’t turn into a weirdo stalker during the cooling off period, keep things light and friendly.

There is a great resource available for anyone who wants to know how to get your ex back. It is full of great ideas to help you get your relationship back where you want it to be. There are a couple of excellent videos on the page that will help you learn more about how to get your ex back. You should check it out: Get Your Ex Back

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Relationship Advice - Don't Compromise Your Values

Relationships are an important part of our lives. Having good relationships with our friends and family and the interaction with other people is one of the things that make life interesting and fun. When issues or problems come up in a relationship, many of us will look for some good relationship advice.

There is no shortage of relationship advice out there today. There are tv and radio shows, websites, online forums, books, and magazines which all claim to have the answers to your relationship problems. Some of them do give out solid and useful advice, while some are merely in it for the money. Be very careful who you listen to.

Let me give you one piece of relationship advice here. I hope you take it to heart and use it:

Don’t compromise your deeply felt beliefs for another person. It will completely ruin your relationship.

You may be wondering what I mean by that, so let me explain. Relationships will have a certain amount of give and take involved. There are going to be times when a sacrifice or compromise is necessary to help resolve a situation. So there will be times when we accept what the other person wants, even though we don’t feel it’s the best solution.

We all have a certain set of deeply held core values. They are there, even if you are not completely aware of them. These are the things you believe are just wrong and that you would ‘never’ do. For example, vegetarians have certain things they just don’t eat. For them, this is a non-negotiable adjustment. Other people might feel that having sexual activities with people outside of their primary relationship is wrong. This is one of their non-negotiable items.

What happens to the relationship when the limits of what’s acceptable get blurred or broken? Perhaps someone asks you to cross the line and they are very persistent about it. You have two choices here, compromise your values or end the relationship. If you decide to cross the line and compromise, you are actually choosing to end the relationship anyway.

Compromising a core value is going to make you very angry with the person who insisted on the compromise. You will also be angry with yourself. You are going to feel as if your values and opinions don’t matter at all to them. The hurt and anger you will feel is going to destroy the relationship. So both of you lose.

Let me leave you with one last bit of relationship advice. Stick to your guns when it comes to your core values. Anyone who tries to badger you or talk you into doing things you know are wrong for you doesn’t have your best interests at heart anyway. They are being selfish. Someone who truly cares for you will be able to accept a ‘no’ answer if means that much to you.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Got Relationship Problems? - How To Solve Relationship Problems

Once in a while, I hear someone say they never have fights or problems in their relationship. My thoughts are that they must be in a relationship with a floor lamp or something! Any time you have two people with different needs and desires, there is gonna be relationship problems! Relationship problems come in two main categories, those that can be solved, and those that can’t be solved.

The type of relationship problems that are solvable usually center around the needs that each of you has in a relationship. A need that is left unmet will cause relationship problems.

Emotional needs are based on what you need from the relationship in order to feel loved. Functional needs are the things you need to have so that your life ‘works’ while you are in this relationship.

Meeting each other’s needs is an important part of a relationship. The good news is that needs can be somewhat negotiable and there are many ways to meet a need. A little honest communication between partners can go a long way towards getting you and your partner on the path to happiness and steer you away from relationship problems.

Whether you know it or not all of us have certain ‘requirements’ in a relationship.
These requirements are not negotiable in the least and if these required aspects are not present in the relationship, it is not going to work over the long haul. You may not even be aware of what your particular non-negotiable items are, but they are there.

An easy example of a ‘requirement’ would be children. If one of you wants children and the other one doesn’t, the relationship is going to have issues! You would be foolish to try to be anything more than friends.

The relationship problems come in when we try to tell ourselves that the ‘requirements’ are not that important after all. We tell ourselves all kinds of rational lies and hope that things will change down the road. Guess what? It won’t. Don’t put yourself in a position where you know the relationship isn’t going to work. It won’t do either of you any favors.




Sunday, July 20, 2008

Does Your Unhappy Marriage Suck?

If you are in an unhappy marriage it might lead you to believe that marriage sucks! You might even think you want to get out of this whole marriage thing. Marriage is supposed to be forever, not just be tossed away. Don’t give up too easily. There was a reason you got married and it’s still there, somewhere.

Listening and communication skills are critical to a relationship. Maybe you are in an unhappy marriage because the two of you have simply quit communicating with one another. I mean real conversation, here, not fighting! You have to set aside time to reconnect on a regular basis.

People might think that they have should just give up on an unhappy marriage. What they ought to do is make a commitment to themselves and their partner to make the marriage better. Get advice or help dealing with the issues facing your marriage if it’s something you need to do. Don’t be embarrassed because you need help.

A spirit of compromise can help resolve conflicts in an unhappy marriage. You have to be willing to give a bit. It can’t always be your way. If you are selfish and always want things your own way, its no wonder your spouse is unhappy with you! Don’t alienate your partner with a selfish attitude.

Have a good long look in the mirror right now. Are you really happy with the person you see there? If you aren’t, how do you think you can be a great marriage partner? The unfortunate truth is, you can’t. If you need to deal with personal issues, do it! It can be painful to work through these things, but once you do, you will feel more free. Dumping the old baggage will help you become a better partner for your spouse and a happier person all around.

It is going to take some time to fix your unhappy marriage, so be patient. Begin by renewing your commitment to your partner. Don’t let your marriage become another statistic.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tips On Survivng A Break Up

Unfortunately, we may all have to survive a breakup of some type. Whether it is the breakup of a relationship or marriage, the aftermath can be devastating and leave permanent scars if not handled correctly. So what can we do to get through it?

Tips On Surviving A Breakup:

Don’t play the ‘blame game’. Blaming only yourself or your former partner for the breakup is counterproductive. Own your mistakes, learn from them and push forward with your life.

Don’t focus on the ‘what if’s’. ‘What if I had done this differently?’ What if that hadn’t happened?’ Dwelling on what might have been will make you nuts, so just don’t go there! We all have things we wish were different than they are, but they are what they are. Things happen sometimes that we have no control over and we just have to do the best we can, learn something from it, and move on.

Don’t give ultimatums to your ex. Giving ultimatums is a form of manipulation and bullying. Even though you might be tempted to try it, don’t. It won’t accomplish what you really want it to, anyway. Ultimatums will only cause resentment towards you and that’s not really what you need.

Don’t beg your ex to come back. Turning into a pathetic wimp or a psycho stalker is not going to help either of you. Getting your ex back because the feel sorry for you is a very short-term fix anyway. Instead of being the object of their pity, try to get their respect for how maturely you are handling your life and the breakup.

Don’t use threats to try to get your ex back. Using threats will only make them more angry and resentful towards you. This isn’t what you want.

Be patient. It took time for the problems to occur and it’s going to take you some time to get over the breakup. Give yourself the time you need to heal and then you can move forward with your life.

Find something that interests you and then do it! Take up a new hobby or revive an old one, start a workout routine at the gym…do something besides sit around and feel bad! Sitting around dwelling on everything that’s happened will make you nuts, so get out of the house and do something. You may not really feel like it at first, but you need to make yourself do it.

And here is probably the best tip of all for surviving a breakup: Agree with your ex that there are problems and that it’s a good idea to take a break. Take an honest look at the reasons for the breakup and see if the relationship could be fixed with a little effort and compromise.

Many times you will find that a relationship can be repaired if you are willing to put forward some effort and give things a bit of time. Allow things to cool off and see what happens. You may find that instead of just trying to survive a breakup, you will be busy rekindling a flame.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Why Marriages Fail - 5 Reasons Why Marriages Fail

A strong and healthy marriage is a wonderful thing. With at least 50% of all marriages ending in divorce these days, it can also be kind of scary. How can we protect our marriage? Why do marriages fail?

Why Marriages Fail:

Not Trusting Your Partner – If you don’t trust your partner enough to share your thoughts, feelings, and desires, you will see yourselves growing apart. People who don’t trust each other can’t make it because trust is the foundation of a good relationship.

Too Hectic A Lifestyle -We are all too busy nowadays. The demands of our crazy schedules leaves a huge hole in the time we should be with our spouse. If this continues it will take a large toll on the relationship. Over time, one or both spouses may start to feel neglected or unwanted.

Bad Attitude Problems - Does someone have an attitude problem that needs to be adjusted? Do you always have to be right, or always have to have the final word? Are you one of those people who just nitpick every little thing? Are you selfish, greedy, whiny, or are you annoying? Do you tease in a hurtful way? Can you never admit when you’re wrong? If so, you have some work to do. A lot of relationships break up because of attitude problems like these. Work on correcting them before you lose your spouse.

Little/No Physical Intimacy – Being physically intimate isn’t just about sex. Problems or issues can be worked around so that both partners will still be able to feel physically intimate with each other. Lack of intimacy is an enormous relationship killer. Everyone needs a little romance now and again.

Arguing About Money – Money issues come up in every marriage. When there is a lack of money, you feel the financial pressure of trying to pay bills with not enough income. If there is abundance of money, the focus may center on how the money is saved or spent.
Any way you slice it, there is bound to be conflict at one time or another. The key is to communicate and develop a plan before the issues develop.

These are just a few of the reasons why marriages fail. Being aware that these are potential problems can help you lessen the effect they have on your marriage.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back - Learn To Read The Signs

What are the signs your ex wants you back after a breakup?
More people ask that question that you might imagine. Many relationships break up and then people realize they may have made a mistake and want to try again. The problem is they don’t always know how to tell the other person. They may be afraid of rejection, so they won’t just tell you straight out. So how can you tell?

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back:

Sign #1 – They still call you occasionally for no apparent reason. You may miss this sign easily if the two of you decided to ‘be friends’ after the breakup. The reason for the call may not be to ‘just check in’ on you, they may actually want you back.

Sign #2 – They ask about you through mutual friends or family members. If you hear that your ex has been asking about you it usually means they still care for you.

Sign #3 – They are dating someone who looks and or acts suspiciously like you. Instead of being insulted, take this as a compliment. You are still on their mind and since they don’t have what they really want, a substitute has to do.

Sign #4 - They still frequent your favorite hanout(s). Did the two of you have a favorite place to hangout? If they are still going to these places frequently it could be that they hope to run into you there. Maybe they miss you and the things you used to do together.

Sign #5 – Whenever they see you they act nervous. If you happen to bump into one another at a restaurant or store do they seem nervous, appear clumsy, or act shy? If so, they may want you more than you realize.

These are the signs your ex wants you back. If they are afraid of being rejected, they may not voice their desire to reconcile. Do you want to get back together with your ex? If so, you may have to be the one to initiate it.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Need To Know How To Get Your Ex Back?

Have you had a recent breakup and want to know how to get your ex back?
Unfortunately for us, we sometimes don’t realize how important things are sometimes until we don’t have them anymore. Yes, it’s sad, but true.

If you are really committed to mending a broken relationship, here are a few thoughts that may help you figure out how to get your ex back:

The first thing you will need to do is let your ex know that you realize there are things that need to change in your relationship and that taking a break is probably a good idea. Once they see that you are able to handle some time apart in a mature way, they can relax a bit and begin to think things through themselves. If you both can admit that there are problems or issues that must be resolved for the relationship to move forward maybe you can make some progress towards getting your relationship healed. The main objective is to keep a line of communication open for future use.

So what are you going to be doing during this time apart? First of all don’t go out of your way to contact your ex. If you bump into one another, fine. Be open and friendly, but not overly so. The main thing you want to avoid is becoming some kind of creepy stalker-type person. So no constant phone calls, text messages, or emailing!

Use this time to think about what the problems in the relationship were. What changes need to be made? What are you willing to do to see these changes happen? What are the things you feel you can’t compromise on?
Be brutally honest with yourself! If there are things you know have to be different and you honestly know you can’t change them, you are only delaying the inevitable second breakup. This is unfair to both of you.

Keep in mind there probably aren’t going to be any quick fixes to the relationship. It is going to take some time and effort for you to figure out how to get your ex back.

It isn’t easy to face the problems in our relationships and deal with the pain they’ve caused. If you can hang tough and learn to compromise a little and work through the issues you can come out of this a stronger couple with a much healthier relationship.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Relationship Breakdown - Stop It Cold!

Wondering if you can save a relationship? There are many reasons for the breakdown of a relationship, but there are a few that seem to rear their ugly heads more than others. Being aware that these things can be a problem, can help us stop them cold before they damage our relationship.

*Becoming complacent: If we get too ‘settled’ in our relationship, it leads to getting into a rut. Living in the rut too long can bring on stagnation and discontent with each other. Get out of the rut and try something new and different once in a while! It doesn’t have to be expensive or spectacular to be special. If you need ideas for activities, try asking your friends what they do to add a little zest now and then.

*Lack of communication: Keeping communication open and flowing is a 'must have' to any relationship. How long would you stay friends with someone who ignored you? I’m guessing not very darn long! Both of you must communicate regularly and effectively or there’s not going to be much of a relationship to worry about. Talking out issues instead of arguing about them is much more productive. Many times a little open and honest conversation will help us save a relationship.

*No time together: We all seem to be working more just to keep our lives going. Be careful that you don’t let work and budget stress kill your relationship. Set aside some time each week just to ‘be' together. Use the time to relax and just enjoy each other.

Way too often people simply give up on what could be a great relationship because they feel so helpless to change things. Don’t let this happen to you! Even if your life isn’t going the way you want it to right now, the bad times don’t have to last forever. You can save a relationship, no matter how difficult it may be.